You blog, I blog.

Since Jessy and Vanessa have been blogging more frequently to document their growing (and beautiful) little girls, I decided that, although I am child-less, that it might be fun for me to start blogging again too. My subject matter will be decidedly different than theirs but it's still fun. You know what I do have to write about - adventures in online dating. Woof.

It's no secret that I'm a member on match.com, I have been for a long time. Working in a school, with almost entirely female co-workers, makes it almost impossible to meet anyone in the workplace. That's fine. While there is the occasional match that extends past a few emails back and forth, more often than not, it's a) men who are old enough to be my father (or at least an uncle), b) men who don't have a real solid grasp on English, or (and this is my FAVORITE) c) men who feel "hey, what's up?" or "how are you?" is the PERFECT opening line. What am I gonna say to that? --- I'm fine. Peace. That kind of email is worth about as much as a guy in a bar who says "Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven?" - "Hey, what's your sign?" - "I lost my phone number, can I have yours?" -- really?? REALLY.

Among the more ridiculous emails I've gotten:

Verbatim --

Handsome Airline Pilot
I date younger and your my type
You just can't be psycho... :)
I'm Mark

A million things are wrong with this. This guy was 39. He was shorter than me. He didn't use any punctuation. He called himself handsome. He used the wrong you're. It's amazing to me that a man who doesn't know one of the most basic rules of English flies planes for a living. And his ONE rule is that I not be psycho? Well...dammit. It's too bad I AM completely psycho, otherwise I'd be falling all over myself trying to reel this guy in. How lucky for me that a 40-year-old man dates younger and I am his type! What the hell am I waiting for???.. Sorry, Mark. You're gonna have to cruise the internet personals for another girl in her midtwenties who will actually fall for that. MAYBE, there's a reason why you're 40 and still single... OH, AND USE PERIODS AT THE END OF YOUR SENTENCES. If this weren't so comical, it'd be discouraging. Is this really all that's out there?