I can't decide if my life is just less exciting now or if I'm just censoring myself because I'm afraid of who will see what I wrote and either misinterpret it or interpret exactly right but not like what they read.
Tonight, I feel discontented. I feel antsy and not satisfied with my life in general, which is stupid because I have a great life. I have an incredibly fulfilling job that is challenging and interesting and everyday I can see the forward progress, albeit not as lucrative as I would like. That's always been my curse; I choose jobs on my gut that I LOVE but that pay peanuts. I love my family; today I spent the whole day with my mom and made a really nice dinner for my parents at MY apartment. I HAVE an apartment that I love. My friends, even if they are all married, are awesome.
It's sad that the one thing I'm missing in my life is what's bringing me down and making it really difficult to appreciate all the good stuff. How do you stop that from happening? No, really. How? If someone could give me a real, tangible step by step plan of how to not get depressed that I'm single, that would be fantastic because I'm sick of this. It always sounds kind of empty and patronizing when someone tells me a) stop looking for it, it'll find you or b) it's not all it's cracked up to be.
AND on top of everything else, the effing Yankees are on the verge of going to the World Series. F that. AND I'm sorry, but Alex Rodriguez is NOT the new Mr. October. You don't earn that title with ONE good post-season showing - how long has he been sucking it HARD in the post-season? Give him a little credit that he's now able to swing the bat and make contact after September 30th, sure... but Mr. October he is not.
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